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Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late

Editor’s Note

Recently, China Central Television (CCTV) interviewed elderly people on the street for a special program in conjunction with the Double Ninth Festival, celebrated in China as a day to pay respect to senior citizens. One 80-year-old woman’s response was particularly touching, as she said that she felt indifferent to the festival and felt that she was too old and no longer wanted to live. She added that she no longer felt loved by her children and was also not afraid of death but rather dreaded the loneliness of not having anyone to talk to. She wished that her three children would visit her more often.

The traditional, family-based elderly care system in China is facing great challenges, as demonstrated by a recent survey showing nearly 70 percent of the country’s migrant workers visit home only once every six months or at longer intervals. According to China Agricultural University, there were 20 million rural Chinese senior citizens living alone as of 2008. >>more

Voices

@ Xin Rui 1110127981:: Yes, times have changed. Everyone is struggling for a better life － they want to buy the house, the car and pay for their children’s education. Many people have ignored the elderly parents that they have left behind. Family ties have become unimportant to people, but it doesn't have to be that way. If you don’t have time to visit home, just take a few minutes to call and ask about their health and life.

@ Faint Matcha Scent:: It reminds me of a very sad sentence from a poem － “When I am old and have trouble walking, will you wait for me just like I did when you were young?”

@KK-Kayless:: Remember the old Chinese saying ‘By the time children grow up and want to take care of their parents, the parents have passed away.” Children nowadays are so spoiled. I feel so sad hearing the elderly lady’s words. I will try to teach my children the right life values when they are young.

@ mtNcd:: We should not only blame the children. Admittedly, they have not done enough to support their parents. But our society also has a responsibility to help relieve their burdens. Who does not want to spend more time with their parents? But many employees are not allowed to claim paid annual leave, even though it is their right.

@ Renaming 777:: This is typical China-style kinship. I don’t like the mentality ‘bring up sons to support parents in their old age’. Spending time with your parents should be a natural thing rather than a duty. Some people have children and then leave them to their parents to bring up. And then after their children grow up, they expect the children to love and support them. If you want to have a close family, don’t miss your children’s childhood.

@ Aquarius Girl:: I still remember that when I was a kid, I did something naughty and my father punished me by making me kneel in front of the sofa. I felt angry then, but now it is a warm memory for me. Being around my parents always makes me happy.

@ Xiao Jing Su:: When they buy a new house, young people will consider which room they want to arrange as a study room and which room will be the baby’s. Few of them will save a room for their parents. When you are parents yourselves, don’t forget about your own parents who need you around.

@ Tea of Chinese Year:: I don’t think that filial piety is about buying a lot of things for your parents. I also know that our parents want us to visit them often. But life and social pressure is already too much for us to take.

@ Zhengzhou Longbao Machinery:: Children today take the love and support of their parents for granted. They don’t consider their parents’ feelings. I love my parents, and will be more considerate of their feelings in the future.

@ Xiaoyue zy as cool as water zy:: Children are so different today. With all these advancements in technology, people spend so much time talking to strangers online but ignore their loved ones. The only thing our parents want from us is to accompany them more. I wish all the elderly people in the world had someone to support them.

@ I'm at the Beach 11:: Don’t wait until the Double Ninth Festival to think of the elderly. There are a million ways that you can show your filial piety. Things you miss will never come back. Don’t wait until it is too late. I hope all the elderly people can live long and happy lives.

Big Ears — Zhun Zhun: I saw the news yesterday and it’s still in my mind today. I’ve only visited my parents a couple of times since I went away to attend college in 2005. Now I am going to be married. I couldn’t sleep last night as I kept asking myself how many more times will I have the opportunity to spend time with my mother. I don’t want to leave any regrets in my life or wait until there are no opportunities at all. Go home.

@ Cherry leem:: I had a dream last night after watching the news. My mother had made two dresses for me, one black and one red. She hung them in plastic covers in the closet. I asked her why. She explained that the black dress is for me to wear at her funeral. And the red one is for the birth of my second daughter, so that I don’t feel lonely when she is not around. I felt my heart break and hugged her and cried. And then I woke up. It is a shame that the closest moment I have had with my mother is in a dream. In reality, we have never had such an emotional moment, although I see to all her material needs.

Conclusion

Although there are a million excuses for not visiting, supporting and spending enough time with our parents, such as busy work, travel expenses and distance, the truth is that we can show them we care by making small efforts like calling them and having a real conversation.

While the government and society have a responsibility to improve the elderly care system in the country, taking care of one’s family should still be the top priority.

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