|The Mentougou district court in western Beijing recently issued a restraining order on a woman to protect her husband from domestic violence. [China Daily]|
A court in Beijing issued its first protection order for a husband who had been repeatedly beaten by his wife, sparking hot discussions on the internet. It is traditionally believed that women and children are the typical victims of the domestic violence. But according to Chongqing Morning Post, eight out of ten men surveyed in Chongqing said they are victims of domestic abuse. What do you think? People share their opinions.
Having witnessed the aggressive nature of some Chinese women I would not be surprised at some domestic violence but that percentage does seem high. However, there us mental violence and physical violence ,and I'm sure many, many men submit to the former for a peaceful life.
Victims of domestic violence can be both men and women. The problem is the stigma attached which makes men more reluctant to do anything about it, but it in no way lessens the seriousness of the problem. There is no excuse for a person to hit their spouse for any reason. Ever. However, it is true that male domestic violence is less prevalent and less acknowledged.
Short amount of time between meeting a person and marrying them is worryingly short for many couples in China due to cultural pressures. Lack of compatibility and poor social skills are a contributing factor to many instances of domestic violence. When the main criteria for getting married for a man is 'a beautiful girl', and for a girl (I hesitate to use the word 'woman' when talking about the emotional maturity of many of them), is a 'rich and handsome' man, it is clear that very little focus is on maturity and ability to deal with problems in a responsible way.
I have seen more women hit men seriously than men hitting women. In China it is socially acceptable for a "weak woman" to hit a man... come and see some of the dongbei girls and you will see how weak they really are.
parcher (Expat in China)
I live in CQ and have had a few Chongqing gf's, but I have never been slapped about. I do however believe that Chongqing men can be victims of domestic abuse, because CQ women have a reputation for having violent tempers!! The biggest problem is they must have their own way every time, otherwise all hell breaks loose. Chinese men will not report this in fear of losing face.
It is like bullying at school or in the workplace. Men are obvious and get angry, even throw a punch... and it is over (sometimes). Women are more clever, sly and persistent. They play on emotions and can keep the bullying pressure up for days. It is a hidden and dangerous mental violence that can lead to suicides or to a man losing his temper aggressively. Men lose face if they admit to this, whereas women expect sympathy.
The reason domestic abuse against males is not reported, or reported as often is probably because of the stigma. It may be more-so in China than other places. Domestic abuse outright is wrong, regardless of the perpetrator's gender. My wife is sweet, kind and gentle, however she DOES have a temper IF the wrong buttons are pushed. As for myself, I too have a temper with an extremely long fuse... and she knows what my limitations are. We both know and exercise talking about and resolving issues quickly... that is far more constructive to our relationship than verbal combat... NEVER anything physical. Neither one of us would tolerate anything like that.
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